4.12.2014

& that's all I have to say about that...

Michael Wayne Alexander.

I am so, beyond comprehension, blessed that God put this sweet man in my life. Blessed that God CHOSE us for each other. It may have taken me a few years to notice Michael there but I know that it was all part of God's timing.

Right before Michael and I started dating I started to convince myself that this fairytale version of my future husband I had in my head was unrealistic. I started to believe that I needed to lower my expectations and my standards to something more "real life". I started to think that maybe I was being too picky and that if I ever wanted to find someone to spend my life with I would need to just accept someone and make it work. I had been through every dating nightmare you can imagine, no really... ask my family. I started to think that my "unrealistic" expectations were to blame. I know now that it wasn't that. I know now that God was preparing mine and Michael's hearts for each other.

Michael and I have "known" each other since we were little. Our dads are friends and as a lot of people know, both my dad and Michael play drums. Michael says it was my dad who first inspired him, that he remembers watching my dad play when he was younger. That's something I really hold dear. Starting some time in high school Michael and I started keeping in contact. I would say for the last 10 years we have "spoken" at least every 6 months. That's something very few people know, because it wasn't really a big deal at the time. When it started it was IM's and MySpace messages, we would talk for a few days and that would be it. As we got older it turned into text messages, one of us would randomly text the other to see how they were and after a few texts it would stop. We laugh because Michael says my responses always went something like:  "Oh hey, just hanging out with my boyfriend who I'm in love with that I love very much, and we're in love" (obviously someone likes to exaggerate a little) and I say Michael's texts every 6 months started with "Hey guys its Michael I had to get a new number again, this is the last time I promise!" (Michaels friends, am I right?)

It's funny that after all that time and all of those empty conversations that this whole relationship would start with a  text message. It was no different then any other of our texts at first. I remember getting on Facebook and seeing that Ryan had posted something about the band being on tour. I knew they were on tour, I had seen pictures in my newsfeed that he and Michael were tagged in and I remember Michael posting things about how excited he was. I cant remember what it even was that Ryan posted  but for some reason it made me text Michael: "How's Tour". Only this time the conversation didn't stop...

To this day, the conversation hasn't stopped.

Michaels first night home from tour he came over. He got to my house at about 11 and we stayed up ALL NIGHT talking. I went to work from 8-5 and as tired as we were, he came over the second night and we did the same thing. We stayed up all night, the conversation just kept going. When the sun would come up, he would leave and I would get ready and go to work, 20oz Red Bull in hand. We both say that we knew on that second night that we would be together forever.

I can't explain it, I can't tell you how I knew. I just did. But I also knew that I didn't have to give up my fairytale husband and my "unrealistic" expectations. The truth is we have good days AND bad days, we know that neither of us is perfect but we are perfect for each other and we are willing to fight for this and work through anything that comes our way. That simple truth in itself makes the good days FAR outnumber the bad.

Michael is all of the things that I need AND want. He is the most loyal person I have ever met in my entire life, I know without a doubt that he always has our best interest at heart. He is so genuine and open, there is no "reading into" him, what you see is who he is. He has such a huge heart and is so giving. From stopping to help random people on the side of the road change a tire, to generously tipping or donating when he can he really loves to give and help. He is an amazing provider and head of household for Landon and I, we needed that. He loves Landon unconditionally and as if he were his own. He understood that from day one I came with a ready-made family and he has accepted that and stepped up to the challenge amazingly. Raising children is HARD WORK and it takes a REAL man to raise another mans child like his own. His faith and growing relationship with Christ is encouraging and inspiring to me.

I wish there was a way to tell all the girls/women out there who are dating that this real love exists. That you don't have to settle! That you can't change a man who doesn't want to be changed. That you know in your heart how you should be treated and if you aren't being treated that way then it isn't right, it isn't the love that's meant for you. That you won't find the love you deserve, drunk in a club in a dress that's probably a size too small. I know, I HAVE BEEN THERE. I am speaking from experience when I say you might find temporary companionship but not the respect you deserve. Michael RESPECTS me. He loves me without the makeup and cute outfit. He loves the purest, most vulnerable, open version of myself and he never judges. You also can't force love because of money, security, etc. You'll never be happy that way.

You must love a man as a whole, for who he is now and what he wants to become.




Michael,

Thank you for loving me and my child unconditionally. Thank you for being the man that God intended you to be. Thank you for taking leadership in this family. Thank you for wanting and valuing this relationship more than anything else on the planet. Thank you for being my best friend and loving me for the person I am today. Thank you for making me laugh until I cry and thank you for always continuing our conversation. Please know that I understand how blessed I am to have you and promise to never take advantage of that. I promise to appreciate you and all that you are for the rest of my life.

To infinity & beyond,
The future Mrs. Alexander (: